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The hardest day so far: July 8, 2012

July 9, 2012

Nobody told Oliver that Sunday is the day of rest. When we walked in this morning he was surrounded by way too many people for it to be a good sign. Since 5 am he’d been desatting pretty badly. That means the oxygen saturation in his blood wasn’t very great, which means his lung(s) weren’t doing so hot. Bad news. Everyone hoped it was a problem with his breathing tube. They bagged him and he was making lots of loud noises, which meant the air leak around the tube was probably too big. I’d been telling him that if he wanted that nasty tube out of his mouth he’d have to get himself on the conventional vent so they could do a nasal tube. Well apparently he found himself a way around that. They changed the tube and we can now see his beautiful mouth! It took a LONG while for things to get better. I honestly spent a good part of the day hunched over his cot crying. There was a good hour there where his ventilator & oxygen were back where’d they’d been the first two days and I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to pull through. But then by the miracle of all of you sending him your best positivity and prayers, his brilliant respiratory therapist Vicki suggested he be turned to his left side, which he always likes. INSTANTLY he was better. I mean instantly. They sent for a blood gas and his oxygen came back at 363. It can be as low as 50. 100 is ideal. Going on his left sent it to 363. It’s been a few hours since then. He’s down to 12.5 airway pressure and 60 o2. The bossy little monster just wanted that darn tube out of his mouth and to be made more comfortable. And his mom to age 10 years. I am now taking donations for a Botox fund 😉

The Dr also ordered an echo to look for a clot around the line in his neck (low platelets) and an eeg to check if he’d been having seizures (weird dips in his heart rate). There’s a small clot but he hates ultrasounds so they had to keep his ventilation cranked while they looked at it which meant even longer sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see if the new line helped. The Dr doesn’t think he’s having seizures, but she said she may as well send for the test and I thanked her from the bottom of my heart because I’d rather he have 800 unnecessary tests than have them miss something.

Irene, his phenomenal nurse this weekend, finagled a rocking chair for me today. I love her. Sometimes I forget I’m recovering from child birth. Today was Ollie’s due date. I’ve been looking forward to today for 9 months. It was as stressful as I’d expected, but in a whole other way. I knew it’d be a roller coaster. I knew it’d be up and down. But I didn’t know how down down could be and it is terrible. Horrifying and terrifying and I just want my poor baby to be ok.

Thank God for Poppy. After the day we had Irene sent us home and told us to find some way to recharge our batteries. She promised us that this won’t be his only down day and we’re going to need our energy levels up. We came home to a mown lawn, clean and tidy house and friends bringing food. We are so grateful for all the amazing people in our lives right now. Crisis brings out people’s true characters and we can’t believe how amazing everyone we know is. My parents brought Poppy home and she’s having a sleepover with us. Her bestie came for a visit tonight & then we read books in bed and snuggled. Her boyfriend is going to come play in the morning and watching her be so happy is a really important reminder that even on the darkest days, there will always be light. Xo

Before the tube switch


His gorgeous little mouth

Poppy doing what Ollie is going to do when he gets home


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  1. Susan Wesson permalink

    Beautiful, Alex. Thank you.

  2. So sorry that Oliver (and all of you) had such a rough day. The emotional highs and lows do take such a toll so I’m glad you got some time in with your daughter to lift your spirits. Hope Oliver has a boring day ahead…boring days are good.

  3. I am so glad he is doing much better. I guess how down down can be is something we cannot imagine. Glad to see you all got some charge after seeing the lovely Poppy. Hang in there. Go Oliver, go!


  4. “even on the darkest days there will always be light”…..that’s so true! I’m happy to see that you are looking at the positive side. I believe that will help you and your little one to make it through this rocky journey. I had to laugh at your Botox remark…for me it was gray hair!

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