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37 Weeks! Maternity Photos

June 18, 2012

I didn’t get maternity photos done with Poppy. I was enormous for starters, 20 lbs heavier than I am this time, and I didn’t want a record of that. Also, I knew once she got here we’d have a lifetime of photos of her, so why bother? This time though, I couldn’t decide. I look way better, and having a sick baby has been what’s motivated me to stay healthy. He can’t grow strong enough on Oreos and Frosty’s. So I can’t guarantee I’ll ever get to the end of another pregnancy with such a reasonable weight gain.

But there were obviously bigger things that factored in to my decision. Like I’ve said before, I know it’s a possibility that this is my only time with Little Man. I try to always stay as positive as I can but sometimes I’m forced to deal with the negative what-ifs. And if this is all I get I REALLY want a record of that. And not the “iPhone in a bathroom mirror” kind. The “he was here, he was real, I’ll always be his mom” kind. The time we’re about to spend in the hospital will be hard, but this time is still happy. He’s strong and whole and healthy. On the other hand, I worried that if things did go horribly, it would be too hard to look at these pictures. That they would remind me of what we’d lost and I didn’t know if I could deal with that.

In the end, though, a very smart woman pointed out to me that if I never want to look at them again I don’t have to. But if I do want to see them and they don’t exist I’ll always regret it. And I know I’ll always want to remember this part. When I get to bring my gorgeous son home I’ll remember just how badly we wanted him. These photos will remind me that even though his life ends up being perfect, we fought hard for that, and every time he does something that a teenager does, I can look back at these and remember just how grateful I am.

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3 Comments
  1. Deena Cohen permalink

    Alex, your pictures are beautiful. I have been following your story and wish you guys all the best through this journey.

  2. Jenn Richler permalink

    Gorgeous photos, gorgeous post.

  3. Lani permalink

    You are a beautiful and strong woman Alex! I wish you and your family the best over the coming weeks and I am thinking good thoughts for your little man. Hugs!

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